Thousands of cats rioted over the manufacture of dog snuggies.
A spokesperson for the manufacturers of the dog snuggie, Sven Hundsreich spoke to the media whilst angry mobs stood outside chanting, “Down with Snuggies!” and “Snug Cats Not Dog Snuggies!” Police called in reinforcements when it was discovered that many of the mob were in possession of cat nip gas bombs.
Controversy arose when it was alleged that the cats caged in the above image were captured in order to make soft, warm dog snuggies.
In spite of Hundreich’s reassurances, the conflict reached new heights as Nyan Cat came to avenge his fallen comrads, zapping any and all dogs seen to be wearing snuggies. All cats paused for a minute of silence as Nyan Cat was hacked down by a mysterious machete weilding doggie in the midst of the battle.
The FTC has stated that they have commenced an investigation into the dog snuggie manufacturing process and have supeonaed documents from Dog Snuggie makers. Although they are not willing to state anything conclusive due to the ongoing investigation, the FTC did say that, in these initial stages of the investigation, there is no evidence that the cats in question were used for anything other than Chinese food or violin strings and not dog snuggies.
Dogsnugs.com undertook to have independent tests conducted by a private biochemistry firm with a home chemistry set and has discovered that the materials currently used in the manufacture of the dog snuggie contained no cat fur or other natural materials and that the synthetic dog snuggies are estimated to have a half-life of 940 years.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
If some of you were thinking hgtnis through, you’d realize that the only reason a company like this can offer a buy-one-get-one-free is because of the S&H charge. Just add that in to the main price and divide by two and you’ll get the REAL cost per Snuggie. “Buy one, get one free” is just a meaningless marketing statement to draw you in.$19.95 is the sweet spot for informercial products. So let’s say, for the sake of argument, that one Snuggie costs them $7 to manufacture, package, handle, and ship to a customer. They want to advertise it at $19.95, the magic number, and they want at least a 100% markup from cost. They know, as do all infomercial marketers, that products sell some large percentage better if they make it a SPECIAL DEAL and throw in something for “free.” So, they make it two Snuggies for the “price of one,” plus two free booklights which cost them $1 each from China. Their total cost is now at $16, so the total price for the customer should be at least $32. That’s $19.95 + $5.95 shipping per Snuggie. But their market research suggests unusually high demand, particularly around the cold holidays, so they know they can get more out of that magic S&H number and they jack it up to $7.95. So, their cost per order: $16. Their profit per order: $19.85. Not a bad business model. And hardly a scam – it’s just a way of obscuring the true price for people who are too lazy to do the math.And yes, I ordered a couple – my girlfriend loves her some fuzzy blankets.-David
Sylvian,
You’ll have to realize that this blog is dedicated to the dog snuggie and not the snuggie for people so, unless I’m making the wrong assumptions about your girlfriend, you’ve come to the wrong place.
These riots had nothing to do with the source of the fur! Cats are up in arms because the snuggie company refuse to make a brandable cat snuggie god damm it
Coyote and fox fur cat snuggies for the ultimate in cat fashion?
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Based on the writing skills involved in the making of the above comment, it must have been written by a disgruntled cat.